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Had to post this link. It is so funny!!
Came across this poem. Thought it was quite funny
English is Tough Stuff
A poem on the difficulty of pronouncing English
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation — think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough –
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!
So, looking at all that has been said, what shall we say then?
All of this can be summed up in what Jesus said to the Pharisees: “But when the Pharisees heard that He had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. And one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question to test Him. ‘Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?’ And He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.’” (Matthew 22:34-40)
So, the question I have to ask is: Do you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind? Do you really love Jesus with everything you got, trusting Him and following Him no matter what? Do you have the Word of God (the Bible) as the highest authority in your life? Do you read it, study it, meditate on it, memorize it, and apply it into your life? Do you really seek God with your whole heart? (Psalm 119:10). Do you really long for Him with your soul? (Psalm 84:2). Do you really want your mind to be renewed? (Romans 12:2). Do you love your neighbor as yourself? Do you love your enemies? (Matthew 5:44). Do you consider all to be your neighbor, as Jesus explains in the parable of the Good Samaritan? Do you live by the “golden rule” of Matthew 7:12? “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets”
Discipleship is something you are, not something you do. It is a way of life for all of life in all areas of life (work, school, marriage, family, friends, etc.). It is at the heart of what it means to be a Christian. We are called to be and make disciples!
I am currently reading the book “Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ” by John Piper, and the topic of the first chapter is about the glory of God, which ends with a prayer that I thought conveys beautifully the heart all of us should have towards God, and so I want to close off with this prayer by John Piper:
“O Father of glory, this is the cry of our hearts – to be changed from one degree of glory to another, until, in the resurrection, at the last trumpet, we are completely conformed to the image of your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. Until then, we long to grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord, especially the knowledge of his glory. We want to see it as clearly as we see the sun, and to savor it as deeply as our most desired pleasure. O merciful God, incline our hearts to your Word and the wonders of your glory. Wean us from our obsession with trivial things. Open the eyes of our hearts to see each day what the created universe is telling about your glory. Enlighten our minds to see the glory of your Son in the Gospel. We believe that you are the All-glorious One, and that there is none like you. Help our unbelief. Forgive the wandering of our affections and the undue attention we give to lesser things. Have mercy on us for Christ’s sake, and fulfill in us your great design to display the glory of your grace. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.” (John Piper, Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ, p17-18)
So, what does this all mean for us in our daily lives? What is it that a disciple of Jesus does? Let me list five things a disciple of Jesus does.
A disciple is a Reborn Follower of Jesus
There is no distinction between being a Christian and being a disciple. Christian means “belonging to Christ” and thus that Jesus Christ is your Master, your Rabbi, which means that you are His disciple, and thus follow Him. Now, here we could go into all sorts of discussions of belonging to Christ means justification, and that those who are being justified also will be glorified (Romans 8:30), so that no sanctification or following is required of a Christian/disciple/follower of Christ, for you will be glorified anyways. But regardless of the fact that this is true, this doesn’t take away the fact that Jesus Christ demands a lot from a Christian, which (if He is your Master, because you are His follower) must be obeyed. For those interested to find out what Jesus exactly demands from a Christian (and the world), a good book to read would be John Piper’s “What Jesus Demands from the World” which lists 50 demands from Jesus. Like I said in my first post, in the old Jewish tradition, the relationship between a disciple and his teacher is one of complete loyalty, dedication and submission. In Matthew 4:18-20 we read about the immediacy of following Jesus where it says, “While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And he said to them, ‘Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.’ Immediately they left their nets and followed him.” And in Matthew 8:18-22, Jesus tells us what it means to follow Him, “Now when Jesus saw a crowd around him, he gave orders to go over to the other side. And a scribe came up and said to him, ‘Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’ Another of the disciples said to him, ‘Lord, let me first go and bury my father.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead.’” But I think John’s writing is the most clear when he wrote, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” (John 10:27)
A disciple Submits to At Least One Other Person Who Teaches Him How to Follow Jesus
Character develops in community, but in order for character to develop it requires something. It requires submission. You need to be willing to submit to someone and letting that person speak into your life, and this requires humility (“Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” (1 Peter 5:5). So, humility leads to submission leads to character development (which means transformation into Christ-likeness). Humility is a starting point, not an end goal (see my post “Good Works Versus Humility” for more insights). The Apostle Paul in particular points this out in several of his writings. He says to Timothy, “You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me” (2 Timothy 3:10-11), and “what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also” (2 Timothy 2:2). And Paul says to the Corinthians, “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. I urge you, then, be imitators of me.” (1 Corinthians 4:15-16). And we read in Ephesians 5:21 to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Being a disciple means to be a servant, and in this case it is a servant/servant relationship towards each other.
A disciple Learns Jesus’ Words
On this point obviously much can be said. Like the old Jewish disciple had an oral tradition which required them to memorize everything their rabbi said (and often meant memorizing the whole Law (the Torah or the Pentateuch or the five books of Moses) and much of the Prophets), so we should learn Jesus’ words. This should not be taken lightly at all. We should know Scripture by heart. It should ooze out of us, ready to be used “for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). We should have Jesus’ words ready in our heart for all circumstances, which means next to the aforementioned verse also for defending and confirming the gospel (Philippians 1:7) and for fighting the devil (Ephesians 6:11-17), which includes the Word of God being a sword (Ephesians 6:17, Hebrews 4:12). I like what Donald S. Whitney says in his book “Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life” when talking about Scripture memorization, where he explains the Word of God being a sword to be used. He says that if you need to defend yourself and you take out your sword, that knowing only Genesis 1:1 and John 3:16 will not be sufficient to defend yourself in most situations. (This obviously does not mean that we should turn the Word of God into a list of handy verses to be used for different situations!).
“Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” (John 8:31-32). We need to abide in His Word if we are truly are His disciples. Why? Because we will know the truth! But there are more reasons, and the Psalmist says it quite beautifully. “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes” (Psalm 19:7-8), and “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.” (Psalm 1:1-3), and “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” (Psalm 119:11). So, the Word of God is perfect, it revives the soul, it makes wise the simple, it rejoices the heart, it enlightens the eyes, and it keeps you from sinning. In other words, it is life-giving!
A Disciple Imitates Jesus’ life and Character
This could actually be the most important one, although this should flow naturally out of submitting yourself to Jesus. Yet, this is a thing that many times is skipped in the process of being a Christian. Imitating Jesus’ life and character means sanctification, means spiritual formation, and means transformation into the image of Christ. “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18). It means that we should “have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness” (1 Timothy 4:7).
Imitating Jesus’ life and character leads to living a life of humility, for “do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3). Imitating Jesus’ life and character leads to living a life of sacrifice, for “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” (Romans 12:1). Imitating Jesus’ life and character leads to living a life of submission, for “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Imitating Jesus’ life and character leads to living a life of obedience, for “whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.” (John 3:36) and “Peter and the apostles answered, ‘We must obey God rather than men.’” (Acts 5:29). Imitating Jesus’ life and character leads to living a life of persecution, for “indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Timothy 3:12).
A Disciple Finds and Teaches Other Disciples Who Also Follow Jesus
Jesus spent three years teaching and training the apostles, and when He left He told them in Matthew 28:19-20 to “go therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” The Great Commission is the normal job of a disciple: to raise up more disciples, and we could say that the Christian faith has done a pretty good job in ‘going’ and ‘baptizing,’ but that unfortunately the ‘making disciples’ and ‘teaching them’ could be described as the Great Omission. Something Dallas Willard wrote a whole book about. With the great commission transformation became mission. It reveals Jesus’ heart and priority. It launches a rescue mission. All followers receive orders to take action: “When he saw the crowds, He had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.’” (Matthew 9:36-38). When all who become disciples make disciples, the result is not reproduction (adding one disciple at a time), but multiplication (one become two, becomes four, etc)
These are the things that Jesus demands from His disciples.